The Mike Says...

1:49am: FOR BURNSCREW...FOR AMERICA
YouTube - James Brown does an interview all sorts of high

11:43pm: My Super Late and No Longer Relevant Review of Nacho Libre
Blech.

To elaborate, as we all know, poop gags and farting have no place in wrestling, but of course this movie has 'em within the first few scenes. Way to stay cutting edge, Jack.

To be a total cunt about it, they broke at least three rules of lucha libre. His mask is ripped off twice, without disqualification. There's also an important pinfall done outside the ring (without a "falls count anywhere" stipulation) and one guy uses a martinete (tombstone piledriver) without being disqualified. Not to mention a few instances of castigo excesivo ("excessive punishment") that could have ended matches, but dang, them Satan's Cavemen kinda knew how to work.

Also, of course, Jack's love interest comes around to the fact that he's into wrestling. That's bollocks. Girls never come around to it.

There is ONE pretty funny part (lasting an entire minute) and I was glad to see that YouTube clipped it perfectly, so I'll save you 90 boobless, kinda insulting minutes with the best part of the whole thing. Yup, when a movie has the Human Tornado in it and it fails to be considered a "good part" then the movie FAILS life.



The Good:  Mustaches, accents, El Dandy hair, midget demons who know how to work, Silver King, a hot nun, Nacho calling for the reveille in the above clip, a magistral cradle, Human Tornado kicking a skinny guy in the balls
The Bad:  All of the above failing to save it, everything else.

6:35am: Scrubs VS. Charlie Brown Christmas: WHO YA GOT?!?
Two of the greatest go head-to-head in this epic battle of holiday supremacy!

::linkage::

Totally actually worth your time, if skeptical.

12:51pm: I heart Teh Feud
So obviously I enjoyed this link:

http://www.thomaselia.com/familyfeud.html

THE 27 WORST FAMILY FEUD ANSWERS EVER

I've always been fascinated by groups of five people who try to guess what 100 randomly selected people have said for a chance to win $10,000, which they'll split between themselves before splitting it again with the government. Which will leave each of them with about $32.87 for their troubles.

I've also been fascinated by how one of those five people will crack under the pressure and cost everyone else on their team a chance to walk away with $32.87.

As a result, I've polled 100 people to find the best "worst" answers ever given on Family Feud. The top 27 answers are on the board.

Question: Name a former President that most people would say is honest.
#1 Answer: Lincoln
Worst Answers: Nixon

Question: Besides San Francisco, name a city that begins with the word San.
#1 Answer: San Diego
Worst Answer: Seattle

Question: Name a slang term used for important people.
#1 Answer: V.I.P.
Worst Answer: Buddy

Question: Name something packrats have a hard time throwing out.
#1 Answer: Photos
Worst Answer: Corn

Question: Name something that might annoy a gardener.
#1 Answer: Bugs
Worst Answer: Not getting paid on time

Question: Name a reason a man might send his wife flowers.
#1 Answer: Anniversary
Worst Answer: Happy divorce

Question: Name a term used in football.
#1 Answer: Touchdown
Worst Answer: Fastbreak

Question: Name a special request people ask for when making a dinner reservation.
#1 Answer: Non-smoking
Worst Answer: A menu

Question: Name someone you wouldn't want to get a phone call from.
#1 Answer: The police
Worst Answer: Your son

Question: Name a classical music composer everyone knows.
#1 Answer: Mozart
Worst Answer: Julio Inglesias

Question: Tell me something specific you should drink a lot of when you're sick.
#1 Answer: Water
Worst Answer: Alcohol

Question: Name something you'd hate to find at the end of your nose.
#1 Answer: Pimple
Worst Answers: Lint

Question: Name the worst kind of shoe to run a marathon in.
#1 Answer: High heels
Worst Answer: Scuba flippers
Louie Anderson's Response: If it's up there... I'll be suprised.

Question: Name something a person wouldn't want living in their house.
#1 Answer: Relatives
Worst Answer: Mold

Question: Name a musician who goes by one name.
#1 Answer: Madonna
Worst Answer: Reba McIntyre
Louie Anderson's Response: Show me the strike.

Question: Name something you'd buy for more than a thousand dollars.
#1 Answer: House
Worst Answer: Pleasure equipment
Louie Anderson's Response: I'm afraid to ask what that means.

Question: Name something you think would be difficult about being a waiter.
#1 Answer: Taking orders
Worst Answer: Falling down

Question: Name something a woman would find in her boyfriend's apartment that would make her think he was cheating.
#1 Answer: Bra
Worst Answer: Used condom

Question: Name something a teenage boy can do for hours at a time.
#1 Answer: Video games
Worst Answer: Masturbate
Louie Anderson's Response: I knew somebody would say it.

Question: Name a unit of currency used in a country other than the US.
#1 Answer: Peso
Worst Answer: Ampere

Question: Name a reason why a woman might not want to kiss her boyfriend.
#1 Answer: Bad breath
Worst Answers: She doesn't love him that much

Question: Name something you do in front of your husband that you probably never did when you were dating.
#1 Answer: Undress
Worst Answer: Make out
Louie Anderson's Response: With somebody else?

Question: Name a complaint you might have about the pizza that was just delivered.
#1 Answer: It's cold
Worst Answers: It went to the wrong address
Louie Anderson's Response: And you just happened to be there.

Question: Name an animal many people are scared of.
#1 Answer: Snake
Worst Answer: Boar
Louie Anderson's Response: It's terrifying.

Question: Name something you need to play Scrabble.
#1 Answer: Letters
Worst Answer: Dice
Louie Anderson's Response: Where did you learn to play Scrabble?

Question: Name the age when a man might start to lose a lot of hair.
#1 Answer: 30
Worst Answer: 14

Question: Name the best month to schedule a wedding.
#1 Answer: June
Worst Answer: Summer

3:10pm: For the next 10 days, I'll be doing overnights. This is probably better for my "sleep schedule" since I find I sleep better during the day. Or right after I eat, which I can do pretty freely during the day. Better pick up some more cordon bleu.

I'll be at IWA Mid South on Saturday. No foolin'. I heart the MidloDome. Big matches on the show. Riding with the regular crew. Meet-up with Superfan Sarah is BIG TIME on my list.

Speaking of nerdiness, I'll probably be cutting down on my dorkdom. I dunno what that means...well, I do, but explaining it is lame.

There's an article on Time.com that I really like and hope people read and make some smart comment about it.

Today I participated in my second annual participation of a "Supermarket Sweep" thingie. Two other people from work and myself went to this store to represent our station in a food grab for charity. We were up against other stations (TV and radio) and news publications. I picked the side of the cart that didn't end up having many items to grab, so I'm not to blame. We came in 12th out of 14, which I'd fake pride in, except we wanted to get last place.

That sounds cruel, but man, you shoulda seen the award for last place.

There is a song called "Chaccaron Maccaron" that L.A. Park used as a theme song. It is one of the best themes ever. EVER. You should download it for me and send it my way.

The internet here is messed up, so if I try to post right now, it won't work.

There's a fake MySpace for CM Punk. I can tell it's fake because, well, if you know one legit (and there's plenty out there) then usually the rest of the links are legit, too. This one has maybe three legit accounts linked to it, then some jabroni wrestlers, and 300 marks. Kudos to Mary Kate (ROH Photographer) for calling him out.

Okay, Bob, I name-drop, too.

There are two wrestling shows coming up in the Kalamazoo area for this AWESOME group called Hybrid Pro Wrestling. Do the math*. The first is on Saturday, April 15th in Schoolcraft, MI at Year Round Golf (an indoor dome) at 7:00PM. There will be seven or eight big matches featuring lots of Michigan guys like Josh Abercrombie, CJ Otis, Jack Thriller, Frankie The Face, Magnum Conroy, Jeff King, Jonny Lawless, Popular Electronics (GameBoy and Jimmy Shalwin), Johnny Dynamo, (Rasta)Khan, and more . Tickets are $10 for adults and $5 for children 12 and under if you pick your tickets up at Year Round Golf before the day of the show. Otherwise, it's $12 for adults and $8 for kids. There is a TV taping the next day at the same location at 2:00PM for only $5 and kids 12 and under are free!!! GO! To both.

The internet is back. Huzzah!

*Footnote: There is no real math involved. Except when it compes to the multiple tickets you’d like to purchase.

2:15pm: Eddie Kingston on RadioDDT this Thursday!
He's known as the "King of Diamonds". He is the "Last of a Dying Breed". He's made his name across the Northeast and the Midwest, and he's not planning on stopping there. His name is Eddie Kingston, and this Thursday, he gives an interview like none other, on RadioDDT, on XND Radio.

Kingston holds no punches in this extended interview, speaking his mind on the world of wrestling, with absolutely no limits. Learn more about the wild card out of Yonkers, along with his uncensored thoughts on Chris Hero -- a man whose drawn tensions with Kingston over four different promotions -- as well as the current CZW-ROH feud. Find out what he thinks of different styles of wrestling, from strong style to lucha libre to deathmatches. Find out what it was like to train under Mike Quackenbush, and how that helped him adapt to all of the above styles. Hear his thoughts on the internet -- the good, the bad, and the ugly.

Eddie Kingston joins hosts Ape Boy and Michael Z this Thursday, March 9th, on RadioDDT on XND Radio at our regular weekly time of 10PM EST, right after the RocketBusta Radio replay. Kingston will discuss all of this and much more. If you have never heard Eddie Kingston speak -- or if you HAVE had the pleasure of hearing him tell a story -- this is a must-hear interview for you.

Catch it live on Thursday, March 9th at 10PM EST on XND Radio!

12:36am: All you other cakes rated A LOT higher in the female category than me.

So obviously, this thing is flawed.

Your results:
You are Green Lantern

Green Lantern 75% Superman 70% Hulk 65% Spider-Man 55% The Flash 55% Iron Man 55% Batman 50% Supergirl 40% Catwoman 40% Robin 37% Wonder Woman 35%

Hot-headed. You have strong will power and a good imagination.

Click here to take the Superhero Personality Quiz

1:09am: About two months old, but I'm a tart who JUST learned how to get pics off my phone.

5:57pm: 5 WORDS OR PHRASES THAT SOUND DIRTY, BUT AREN'T
URANUS
COCKTAIL
POO-POO PLATTER
KUMQUAT
MASTICATE

Okay, I stole that from some talking Chiclets, so they're not really witty. Anyone wanna put some thought into other ones?

5:40pm: I got tagged by Ian, and I don't have much else to say, so LET'S DO THIS!

Six weird habits of mine.

1. I try to knock all the ice and compiled slush off my car, even if it's caked on at an unintrusive spot like the side or grill.

2. I like to have AIM on at all times, just in case someone wants to get hold of me.

3. I hate ending sentences in prepositions.

4. I hate pants, for several reasons.

5. I wouldn't get a cell phone for the longest time because I hate dealing with salemen.

6. A lot of weird ones when it comes to eating. Like, I always have to have a drink. That's probably the big one.

I TAG NO ONE! Do what you like, kids.

4:48am: "MY EYE, NIGGA, MY EYE! GET A DOCTOR MOTHAFUCKA!!!"

{ Julius Smokes at the ROH Detroit debut, right before getting up to wallop Colt Cabana }

2:42am: Fuck you, Tim Burton.

You AND your old man balls.

5:34pm: Suck it, Rouge Rogue

Ricky Steamboat You scored 94% in wrestlingosity, brother!

Technically one of the greatest performances, ever, just lacking that little something extra to take it into all-time level. This was a mat classic you've put on, and definitely something to take pride in. Pro-wrestling trivia enthusiasts will be studying your work for a while to come. Congratulations! If you enjoyed this test, I would love the feedback! Also, you might want to check out some of my other tests if you're interested in the following: Nerds, Geeks & Dorks Love & Sexuality Buffy the Vampire Slayer Thanks Again! -- THE *ULTIMATE* PRO-WRESTLING TRIVIA TEST

My test tracked 1 variable How you compared to other people your age and gender: You scored higher than 98% on wrestlingosity

Link: The ULTIMATE Pro-Wrestling Trivia Test written by donathos on OkCupid Free Online Dating

12:03am: Why EVERY Possible ROH World Title Winner Made Sense
This is something you don't get every day in other companies, kids. Well, unless you think Christian will become champ on a random, unhyped edition of Raw or SmackDown.

SAMOA JOE Joe is a former ROH World Champion, current Pure Champion, and had the feud of the year in 2004 through a series of matches with CM Punk. While he lost the title to Aires in December, as well as the rematch in February, he's remained looking strong outside (and including) those failed attempts. While the case against Joe is that he'll be working for TNA, and ROH might not want their champ going to a higher profile fed with the possibility of losing. This was the case with Low Ki in 2002, yet through ROH & TNA's agreement, he was able to avoid jobbing, so the champ remained protected. Low Ki's numerous commitments, though, made it difficult to have ROH as his top priority (and remain protected) so the belt was taken off him sooner than later, but ROH is in a much stronger position now than in 2002.

CHRISTOPHER DANIELS Pretty much the same as Joe. He has TNA commitments and numerous others, but within ROH, his spot as a contender was justified. Never mind his "ROH track record" which a year-and-a-half hiatus on it...his recent work in matches and storylines put him in this position. Mostly storyline, though. He has a win against Colt Cabana (a top guy in ROH) but was cost his match vs Matt Hardy by Punk. This all stems from January 2004, where Punk unexpectedly wrote out Daniels from ROH storylines (in real life, the Feinstein situation caused TNA to force Daniels to choose between the two). He then stole the title from Punk and had a solid, hard-fought match vs Punk in July, where Punk cheated to win, so the issue between the two is not over. Daniels, however, IS over in the eyes of the fans, so having a world-class athlete/speaker like himself as champ would be an asset to any company.

JAMES GIBSON The eventual winner of the title. The point against Gibson is that "he's going to the WWE". Which is true, but very mis-informed. Gibson is under WWE contract specifically so he cannot work for TNA. By staying with ROH, he's NOT working for TNA, and that's all the WWE cares about. Under the WWE-ROH relationship (which has surpassed the general wrestling fan's view for far too long), Gibson could quite frankly stay in ROH for another entire year, all while holidn the ROH title, which ROH and Gibson have stated that Gibson will stay with ROH until he loses the belt. No harm there.

COLT CABANA Cabana and Punk may be best of friends, in the ring and out, but the story has been underlying for quite some time. They've always had a "tenuous" relationship on-screen, with Colt playing a joker while Punk is the straight-man. Cabana and Punk were separate for a while, but when Daniels came back, Punk volunteered Cabana to "wear him down" before facing himself. Cabana obviosuly didn't appreciate it a lot, and appreciated it less when Punk cost him the match vs Daniels. The argument against Colt is that he's "a comedy worker" and comedians don't make good champions. Instead of looking to someone like The Rock to go against that, just look at Colt, who clearly shows ability several times a year to be something other than a comedy worker. Look at the street fights vs The Prophecy for the best example. The most compelling argument for Cabana is that ROH is his home fed. Most every indy worker has one, and for Cabana, it's ROH. Where you have to worry about Daniels or Joe or Gibson working for other people, Cabana is more of a "sure thing". He was actually my favorite to win a while ago, before the rest of this material came to me.

CM PUNK While ROH reportedly would have just taken the title off Punk if he retained this weekend, it was never a given that he would lose the belt. Just look back through the 6/18 show. Punk is WWE/OVW bound, but he has been for some time, yet he kept the title. It would have been interesting to see Punk hold onto the belt despite the odds, and have it up for grabs at 9/24's Survival of the Fittest, but it also doesn't hurt him to go out on his back like any respectable wrestler would.

SOMEONE ELSE And then, there is the x-factor. Fanboy speculation led to the theory that, if Punk retained on 8/12, that on 8/13 he would have Cabana lay down for him (the dreaded "Finger Poke Of DOOM") but then, surprise surprise, ROH would force him to face another wrestler, before ultimately losing it in Chicago Ridge. Some people like the idea, so obviously I don't *wink* but it would have managed to surprise a few people, and the Chicago Ridge crowd would leave happy, so it's not fair to rule it out.

And that's all I have to says.

5:50am: TODAY!!!


Full review when I get my hands out of my pants.

POST HAND REMOVAL FROM PANTS EDIT

JASON MRAZ ALBUM REVIEW

That was excellent.

I don't think there's a bad song there. Mraz fans will like it, non-fans should at least stream some songs on MySpace. "Plane" may be my favorite. I know I had more earlier, but I don't wanna sound like more of a gay.

OR DO I?!?





No.





HEY HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO JULIE HOLT! Even though she's all in Poland and won't see this until next month.

2:00am:

CLICK!

12:06pm: HE GAVE IT ALL HE HAD, CAPTAIN
SET PHASERS TO "STUNNED!"



MetroSource News 07/20/2005 08:55:29
James Doohan Dead URGENT

>>Star Trek Star Dies

(Undated) -- James Doohan has died. The actor, best known for his role as Scotty in the "Star Trek" television show and movies, passed away today. The 85-year-old had suffered from numerous health problems, including Alzheimer's and Parkinson's disease. Doohan was both a Hollywood and World War Two veteran. He lost one of his fingers during D-Day as a member of the Royal Canadian Artillery. Doohan was given a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame in 2004. He is survived by his second-wife Wende and seven children.

1:53am: MISAWA VS KAWADA, TOKYO DOME...HERE!
LINK E. MCGHEE

Thanks again to Hiro Saito. Dude's a role model for all southern hicks.

Darn me for being at work and not yet able to download such a file...

3:56pm: Not "SmackDown!"?
MetroSource News 07/12/2005 12:55:08
"Smackdown" Sketch

>>"Smackdown" Terrorist Sketch Aired Same Day As Bombings

(Undated) -- The airing of a terrorist-themed edition of UPN's "Smackdown" is raising a few eyebrows. UPN showed the episode last Thursday, the same day bombings in London killed dozens and injured hundreds. On the episode, an Arab-American wrestler named "Daivari" was beaten by "The Undertaker." Arabs in ski masks, a suicide-bomber's funeral and an insinuated beheading, were also a part of the show. According to "The New York Post," the segment was not shown on the U.K. edition of "Smackdown." Since the show was taped two days in advance, affiliates were given a heads up to its content. U.S. viewers saw a crawl at the bottom of the screen which read: "In light of today's tragic events in London, parental discretion is advised in viewing tonight's episode."

A WWE spokesman says it was "unfortunate" the sketch aired the same days as the bombings. "Smackdown" executive producer Kevin Dunn added, "We just happen to reflect the politics of the world sometimes -- especially with these Arab-American characters."

###
Laura Downhour/sw


Copyright © 2005
Metro Networks Communications Inc., A Westwood One Company

---

While I agree with the negativity towards the WWE on this, I dunno about you guys, but I didn't get that Daivari was a suicide bomber, nor that he had a funeral, nor that choking out the Undertaker implied a "beheading", and even the idea that the gang in ski masks were Arab (cripes, you could see at least one guy was white) really stretches it.

What's REALLY great about Dunn's defense of the angle and characters is that they KNEW there's always a possibility of terrorist acts (noted by the media or not) so when they CHOSE to make Hassan and Daivari emulate a terrorist group (which is ri-cock-ulous in itself since those two have always declared that they are NOT terrorists, or like the people who caused 9/11) they had to know there would be a response, and the majority of it (from their jingoist flag-waving target audience *slash* smarter watchdog fans) would be negative. If they want to defend stuff like this, they better have a less ignorant defense planned before they hit the switch, and not let actual journalists get away with posting skewed views as news.

Man, I need to start putting this stuff in James E. Cornette-style audio clips...

3:14pm: Happy ALBERT Day!
At TheDDT.com!

First up...the war for the ages...

AvS: ALBERT vs SNITSKY

ONLY ONE HAS THE CHANCE TO SURVIVE AND MAKE HIS TIME!!!

vs

RADIO EDIT: ROH Set For Detroit Debut.

Someone pinch/book me.

6:57pm: Honestly, one of my favorite bits to date:
~ The Hardcore Homecoming DVD is planned to be a 2-disc set, featuring the entire show along with backstage footage. One segment already planned for the DVD is footage of Shane Douglas seeing Gary Wolfe for the first time in years, after the two had completely differing accounts of the night Wolfe broke his neck on the Forever Hardcore DVD. Anyone remember the Leif Garrett "Behind The Music"? Or at least the Family Guy version of it? I sense something similar happening...



For more, read Worst Week Ever...bitches.

3:31am: I know this really dumb guy, but it's hard to tell him. I'd spell it out for him, but I don't think he realizes the 'b' is silent.

4:39am: WWECW
I've never been so disappointed in wrestling fans, and that's saying a lot.

3:09pm: If anyone can get an acapella version of Jay Z's "99 Problems" send it to me (themikesays@gmail.com).

I got a little project I wanna start...

9:32pm: These things become less relevant when I post them 16 minutes before RAW.